writing

9.00am Barnacle Parliament
Marine Democracy Bivalve debate hots up as the plankton season approaches.
10.00am I Married a Doughnut
Confused Nuptial Confessions Gripping in-depth rubbish - can love last in the topsy-turvy world of doughnutophilia?
11.00am Ernie:A Life of Smells
Olfactory adventures with the limping laundry man.
12.00am This Is Your Lung
The breath-taking final - can Brenda make it?
1.00pm Fantasy Giblets
Spleen of Wonder The Sperm and Humploader families remove and compare vital organs.
2.00pm Evenly Spaced
Conoisseur Croisants Profound meeting of architecture and artistic bakery.
3.00pm Hip-Op
Wicked Octogenarian rhymers compete to go up the operating waiting list. 
5.30pm Urban Dairy
Screach, moo, thud, woowarwoowar. The conflict between ancient pasturing practices and rush hour traffic examined.
7.00pm Duur
Roundup Results of our viewers poll. Phone-in with instant executions.
8.00pm Celebrity Transplant
Catch up The team follow last weeks 'new thumbs' newsreader to see how he's healing. Which Hollywood 'A' list celeb will be this weeks unlucky patient in 'Random Organ Roulette'?
9.00pm Dog Poo Challenge
Flick Contestants gross-out turnip feet.
10.00pm Evil Bread
Film The wickedness of yeast products corrupts the innocents of small-town America. Some violent violence. Bad language, eg 'fuck'. Sex, wholemeal.
 12:10amSnork
Is that your face? Emo metal-detector cosmetics